I honestly haven't a clue what has happened to me. I'm so dissapointed in myself due to the lack of self motivation, creativity, and just general work. I find myself finding the time to make art work, take photos, make drawings, but then when said time is found there is no push to go create that piece. No new pieces have been made. Nothing has been made. You would think being in this deep, soul hugging emotion we call love would inspire me to do so much, but yet nothing. Some ideas are there, just floating on an ocean that is surrounded by nothing. I cant believe it has come to this, yes i find myself in love, with an emotional connection so deep it consumes my entire world but love is all i can think of. I find my days wanting to be with him, all day, everyday. I find myself wanting to do nothing but consuming his time with activities couples do. It saddens me to think that the only creativeness that has played out was through the Halloween period where I was confronted with the task of painting faces for some friends (I say friends but they were mere acquaintance's.) Oh sweet art that i call my passion, i know not what to do. I really know not. I feel like I'm torturing myself with this lack of motivation for what was my former love of art. Art seems to be a mere spec on my windscreen now compared to what other things I have that worry me. This probably has made no sense whatsoever. I honestly still have my doubts about people actually reading these things but if you do and have something to say could you please share it seen as I am actually going mad with my lack of passion for something I claim to be so passionate about. I need help. I need advice. I need wisdom. I need my art back just as much as I have to accept that its no longer my first love, but will always be my love.
In all honesty if you want updates on me or what i'm doing i do post fairly often on Instagram - Mellytrons
Until we meet again my fellow deviants xxx